UP

I'm amazed by how crazy life can get from one day to the next. One should never take time for granted, because it's incredible how it can work on your favor. I was feeling pretty gutted since I thought this year had started in a quite boring way, but I sort of regret ever thinking that. 

I'm always giving advice to my friends and family about what they should do with their lives, but guess it's about time for me to start taking my own advice for a change. That is to be happy, to embrace my freedom and, most importantly, to never expect anything from anyone, just -cliché as it sounds- carpe diem. 

To live my life following those steps has never really worked for me, but maybe this year is going to be different. I mean I really, really want it to be. And to rush things a bit I ocasionally like to make the first move on things, for instance  raising my hand if a teacher is asking for an opinion, make a toast at a family dinner, holding a guy's hand if he's feeling shy, etc. Not that I own the bravest personality, but it helps if you dare every once in a while. 

I don't feel that with age comes maturity. I'm 23 years old, but in my mind -and in my heart- I feel like I'm eighteen and a half. Just a regular girl screwing up every now and then, smiling all the time, feeling sad in my lonely moments, and always putting the rest of the people before myself. About that last comment... love it. I adore making people happy with my actions. Since I'm not the most creative or emotional person I feel like everything counts when it comes to my personal relations. Guess it has to do with being accepted and just being liked by everyone. I'm not sure if that is good or bad but hey, it definitely feels right. 

Also, I'm never lucky when it comes to men. Yes, they always say I'm pretty and exotic and nice and incredible, so how come my boyfriends always suck? I'm starting to think it's related to having a bit of an obssesion with lads who happen to stink. They all do. Didn't think I had a type, but it sure follows a pattern: always a few years older, musician (guitar freak), liked by everyone, great family background, but awful trusting issues. Or maybe I have issues, like s&m issues. Why one would keep choosing the same psycho bastard type of guy? But I'm pursuing redemption. Changing my style. Opening my mind. Seeing through people. And I think I'm finally on my way to actually be happy. Don't ask yet, it's pretty soon to tell, but let's just state this: I am happy. That is all that matters and whatever happens in the future I shall be proud of myself for being this brave. 

And with that said I encourage you to follow your dreams and shit, it feels soooo good it's mental. 

New year, same shite.

A new year has begun. And though my OCD syndrome is kicking in (2013 is an odd number. I hate odd numbers), I want to believe it's going to be a top year. I'm trying not be get too excited about it though, because I tend to expect a lot from things/people and then I end up totally gutted that things never go my way. 

SO. 2013. RESOLUTIONS. My year is not supposed to be a lot different than the past ones since I'm still at Uni, but let's just think it's going to be massive. I'm a senior now (not sure if it's a good thing) so I expect to party, A lot. And a tiny bit of study sessions just for the sake of it. 

Now, besides school, what I'd really want is to meet new people. I LOVE meeting new, exciting people. I adore my friends and all, but it's always refreshing to update your contact list. This helps you to step out of the usual routine for a moment, and that is something you should always be grateful for. 

And now about my currently love status... there's actually none. Not that I am complaining, but it's actually funny how I suck at relationships. I believe I scare men with my oddness. If I happen to find an awesome guy who is willing to be weird with me then it's going to be an ace year! But if not, it's going to be amazing anyway. I'm a veeery independent person on that matter so to hell with it.

Finally, I'm saving all I can so that I'm able to go to the UK this time next year. Cross your fingers. If that doesn't occur then I might aswell kill myself, but I'll let you know first.

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